if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
