Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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