Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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