Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
