woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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