Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You are a genius and a whore.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
