You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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