I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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