He is such a slut. More and more my type.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.