I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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