New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?