At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.