Operation Purity has been aborted
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize