I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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