This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
