He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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