You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
