dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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