Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
