You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Come back. Shots need mouths.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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