Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you will always have a special place in my vag
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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