I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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