im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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