Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
