She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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