There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
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It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
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I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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