Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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