Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
