OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
