did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize