Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
