Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
