just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
