it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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