I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
