I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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