nut hugger
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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