He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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