I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
