is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
