U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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