I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
