its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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