I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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