Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
