I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this beer tastes like vomit already
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize