great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize