There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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