I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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