'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
