Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
