Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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