apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
