I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
