You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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