Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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