just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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