we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
