Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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