Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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