Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
