So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
