he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
